michals: (oh *angst*)
[personal profile] michals
Alright, I promise this will be the last, or at least close to last, post I make about this as I realize I have been very melodramatic about this whole thing and am probably annoying the piss out of everyone. If that's true, this post won't be much better.

(Spoilers for those who don't know yet)



It's just, I'm not just losing a show to watch on Sundays in the fall, I'm losing an entire fandom. Like I've been saying, I am way more upset about this one than past ones because with other shows and fandoms I had been able to get away from them soon enough to spare being overly disappointed by them. Like House; I stopped really watching in season 5 so I couldn't get too upset about how shitty it got in season 7. With Boardwalk I was into it, in a way I've never really been into a fandom.

Boardwalk's great because one of the biggest reasons I loved it was because there was so much to think about and talk about. I posted episode discussions every week, I had long diatribes on things that I wanted to see happen, I met people simply because they wanted to talk about and analyze the show as much as I did. I was completely prepared to become totally immersed in the fandom come the hiatus. I wanted to start comms, I wanted to make graphics and fanmixes and write fic and just cannonball right into the middle of it.

I realize these are fangirl!problems, and that no one else has these kinds of complications, but like I told someone else, it's kind of ironic that the people in fandom who really fall in love with a show are more affected by it than a casual viewer, including being heart broken by it.

I had to unfollow half a dozen people on Tumblr, people I liked, because I just don't want to hear about Boardwalk anymore. I can't talk to my mom, Em or Jon about the show anymore because I just don't want to talk about it. I'm kind of sore towards Scorsese, Buscemi, Pitt and anyone involved even though I KNOW that just because they did something to piss off a fangirl by no means entitles them to be disliked.

A couple of months ago I posted about not having a main fandom. That I didn't have that one big fandom to anchor me anymore and I felt kind of all over the place. Well, I found that in Boardwalk and now it's just...gone.

And I completely and utterly realize that just because one character died does not mean that I need to stop watching and that not watching and cutting myself off from the fandom is a HUGE overreaction, but...I never said I wasn't overly dramatic, I never said I wasn't a stupid whiny fangirl. In fact I'm sure I've said the opposite. So, I feel like I need to apologize for being dumb about but at the same time I don't know why I would apologize when I've never done anything different.

It's just, they could have literally killed any other character on the show besides three of them and I would not have cared at all. I would have taken it in stride and accepted it as part of the show. But what do they do? They killed one of those three. And if you had asked me two months ago would I have cared if they killed Jimmy and I would had said "Hell no, dude deserves it if he keeps being awful to Nucky."

But then something changed and I did a 180 and suddenly Nucky and Jimmy and their relationship - and my being able to dissect their relationship - because the main reason I watched the show. Me and someone on Tumblr had their entire backstory worked out and their entire motivations and feelings and potential for the future all planned. There was so much to them. The fact that half of that is gone, and because of the one half, is brutal. Again, if they had bumped off anyone else I would have been okay, but to lose one of the main reasons I watched doesn't leave me with enough reasons to keep watching.

But the main reason for this post is just to mourn the loss of a lot of potential fun I could be having in the fandom. Yes, yes, again I realize this is on me and by no means should this mean I have to leave the fandom because of it, but right now that's what it means and I'm upset about it. In fact, I'm not even close to as sad as I've been these last two weeks since reading the spoiler, I'm more annoyed and disappointed. Annoyed that I just lost a lot of things that I loved and disappointed that the show couldn't go on without him. I know they did it for a reason and I understand from a casual viewers POV, but from a fangirl POV and from someone who's spent way too long thinking about the potential for the character and his dynamic with others, I'm disappointed.

So, basically to sum up the last two weeks: Once upon a time I loved a show way too much and cared way too much about what happened to the characters. One of those characters died, my heart got broken and now I don't know how to look the show in the face. It got all the friends and the fun times and I'm over here, annoyed at the world, haha.

Date: 2011-12-14 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doubtful-salmon.livejournal.com
I don't know, dude. If you liked Boardwalk Empire for being safe, then I think you liked it for the wrong reasons in the first place. It's kind of unreasonable to be so angry you want to toss it away and never ever see it again because they did something unpredictable that clashed with your own vision of events, because the thing is that your vision isn't canon and if you prefer your version to the real version then I'm not sure you were quite the fan of the show that you thought you were anyway. This is like people who stopped reading Harry Potter when it became evident that Harry and Hermione were not going to hook up. I'm not saying you can't get mad at a thing because of X, because of course you can get mad at whatever you want to be mad at. But I think if you're really so mad at what you say is your main fandom that you're going to leave it because of a canonical decision that they'd actually been kind of building up to, then like I said, I'm not sure you were a fan of the show. I think you were a fan of your version. I understand being upset about what happened; I'm upset myself. He was my favorite character and the reason that I watched the show in the first place, literally, and the reason I kept watching the show when it lulled a couple of times and I ordinarily probably would've stopped watching. But this does seem to be an overreaction. Life is that way. People die, unexpectedly. And a good show doesn't keep a character alive just because people like him, or because he's a major character, especially if they've been working toward it since the first episode of this season. The main character of the show is Nucky. He is the only person who has ever been safe, and considering his name is not actually in the show, even that is kind of a stretch, as look at Game of Thrones. But still I think it is a safe assumption. But that's it. Nucky Thompson is the only person who is probably safe from death, and a show can't just be too afraid to kill off a character. In fact, good shows DO kill off characters. Shows that wander on and on with constant life-or-death situations and never make any sacrifice eventually lose their point. I even read someone say that in an interview about this season of Boardwalk Empire, that the point is that the stakes were high and you can't just end up with things being happily ever after the way that they started, not after all of that. Most shows wait until the last possible second before they become irrelevant to kill somebody like that off. And the problem is, as a result, that last possible second gets earlier and earlier, to the point where the only way you can really astonish your audience and show them that you mean business is to do it in seasons 1 or 2. By season 5 people are just waiting for it. They know it's coming. And they've had their fill of everyone. The tragedy of Jimmy is that he died before we were done with him. That's the whole point of killing him now, because sometimes people die before we're done with them, and it does leave a void and I get that but that's the way life works. People complain that TV isn't enough like life, and then when TV is like life, they complain because it upsets them. And like I said, I can't tell you whether you can or can't get upset about something. Obviously I have no say in that whatsoever. But I can tell you that I agree it is kind of unreasonable to be so pissed that you've decided to ditch what you call your main fandom because the show took a risk. You can ditch it if you want, but it's not their fault you're that mad at them. Safe TV is not good TV. And you had to know when you started watching Boardwalk that it was not safe TV. You're right--they could've cared any character on the show beside the three of them and you would've been okay with it. Which is the point. It's no real sacrifice to kill somebody else. It's a Cedric Diggory death. You read it and you think, "How sad, this nice person died. Oh well." And that's it. Characters are created to be destroyed all the time. The really powerful moments are when characters who weren't created to be destroyed are anyway.

Date: 2011-12-14 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] authormichals.livejournal.com
No, I can safely say I was a fan of the show. I'm still a fan of the show, I think the show is fantastic and very well written and I understand why they do what they do and why they did what they did. Yes, I am being unreasonable and yes, I know that I'm being this way but then I keep apologizing for that even though I never said I was any other way. I don't hate the show now, I can't hate the show, it's too good to hate and I honestly believe that because it's better than anything out there that it can do whatever it wants and totally get away with.

I really don't think it's fair that you can doubt how much I really cared about the show or question why I'm dropping it. It's not because I don't like what happened, it's not that I hate the people involved or anything, it's purely because I was overly involved in that aspect of the show - Jimmy, Nucky, their dynamic - and because that won't be a part of the show, I'm just disappointed. I've said before why I've become a little too emotionally involved in this show, that certain things have lead to me depending on it probably more than I should, and that's what I'm mourning, not just Jimmy. Yes, I'm overreacting now, and sure I'm venting. I really don't know if I'm going to watch next season, hell I might, but right now I'm just reacting and I'm a major drama queen and I thought that was kind of obvious. Everyone else gets to have their big fandom freak-out, this is mine.

The show has every right to do what it wants, I'm the one who would say week-in week-out that no one was safe except Nucky and anyone who has a historical context on the show. I figured Jimmy might be safe because he's the second lead and Michael Pitt was the second biggest name they had. But if they want to kill him, so be it. If I want to say "sayanora" to the show because of it, so be it. I mean, it probably didn't show on my LJ as much but over on Tumblr it was Boardwalk city. I was constantly discussing the show and analyzing it with others over there, most of the time it was about Nucky and Jimmy and their relationship. I never expected the show to do what I wanted it to do, I never projected my vision of the show on the actual show, again I really believe it's too smart to let fandom dictate it, the people making it come up with way more interesting things anyway.

So, I don't really know what to say because yeah, I am a fan probably more than most, yes I totally accept what they did and I am overreacting but I still think that they kind of shot themselves in the foot by getting rid of Jimmy - regardless of the shock value - because of what they could still do with him (nevermind that Nucky is my favorite character but I personally don't understand how he could be anything but an emotionless automoton without someone like Jimmy in his life, guy's got a habit of shutting down when he loses someone and I'm not the only one who thinks Nucky's going to be way less sympathetic of a character now). I'm not holding it against the show and this is my problem. Whatever, I know I'm being ridiculous but that's kind of why I'm talking it out like this.

Date: 2011-12-14 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twilightthief.livejournal.com
It's just, I'm not just losing a show to watch on Sundays in the fall, I'm losing an entire fandom. Like I've been saying, I am way more upset about this one than past ones because with other shows and fandoms I had been able to get away from them soon enough to spare being overly disappointed by them. Like House; I stopped really watching in season 5 so I couldn't get too upset about how shitty it got in season 7. With Boardwalk I was into it, in a way I've never really been into a fandom.


Aww, hun, I feel the same. :(

But the main reason for this post is just to mourn the loss of a lot of potential fun I could be having in the fandom. Me too...I shipped Jimmy/Richard so Im taking it hard..it doesnt mean Ill stop shipping them but it hurts knowing they'll never have any scenes together again :(
Edited Date: 2011-12-14 09:54 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-12-15 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] authormichals.livejournal.com
I mean, it's not like I'm not still a fan or that I wasn't, and it doesn't even mean I'm done with the fandom or the show for good but yeah, it's like you said, I'm sad but I still love what I love about the show. I'm really going to miss the Jimmy and Richard scenes too, I really wished they could have fleshed out them together more, I can't imagine Richard without Jimmy now.

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