Jun. 15th, 2011

michals: (corgi pup)
This is sorely needed right now.

10 Things That Made Me Happy Lately (a meme in as many parts as needed to feel better about life):

1. Fandom. God, I love it. I just cannon balled into, oh...3 or 4 in the last few months so there's a bunch of them taking up my time but I'm still in love with so many of the old ones right now. If fandom was a person I would want to marry it because it knows just how to make me happy.

2. Tumblr. Because it is fueling the fandom love so very well. Every day is more shippy nonsense and hot people and links to awesome things. I just followed about 10 new blogs and it's a little overwhelming because when I log in in the morning I always feel like I'll never find the end of all the new, shiny things, but I love coming back every 5 minutes to find more awesome things.

3. Kink memes. In the last 5 fandoms I've joined, all of them had huge, thriving, diverse kink memes up within the first few hours of the movie/show premiering. Not only that, but there are so many prompts I want to fill, and the fics that've been written for my prompts have been brilliant and God, who knew so many people could into so many different things, and they'd all be marvelous?

4. The Sims. Ah yes, with free time comes time enough to play the Sims. I'm on generation 4 of this family and it should be getting boring and dumb and repetitive, but it hasn't and it won't and if it does I can put it away for another x amount of weeks and come back to it and love it all over again.

5. The weather. Last week I wanted to kill myself and all other nearby living things because it was 96 fucking degrees outside, but now it's settled into the 68 to 77 range and most days are cloudy and overcast and even raining. I love that weather, I just think better with it.

6. I got this little guy a couple of weeks ago and I wear him almost every day and I love him.

7. I had Portillo's today. You guys, that place is food magic.

8. Superheroes. Man, superheroes are awesome.

9. My friend Clucas used to do this impression of Orson Welles from this video, and I would probably pester him to do it on a near daily basis if he hadn't gone to California for a year. I was with friends Saturday night and they reminded me of it and I texted Clucas to tell him he'll be doing it for me as soon as he comes back and he sent back a recording of himself saying "That's mine! I brought it from home!" and I love it so much I think I may actually cry.

10. It is 3:15 in the morning and there are birds chirping. They did this the other night too. What are you doing birds!? Why are you awake this early!? Either way it makes me think of that lovely, blissful time right before the sun starts rising but there's the hint of light on the horizon and every thing is so very still and serene.
michals: (Default)
So, as of right now - actually as of two nights ago - my life is officially a mess.

The plan WAS that Roomie and I would find an apartment before our lease is up at our current place, at the end of this month, and we'd both get jobs and live and work in the city for another year. That fell through when Roomie quit her one job and we got turned down for one place because the Realtor didn't believe Roomie'd be able to cover her half of the rent. I was fine because even though I don't have a job my grandmother is cosigning so I still look pretty good to landlords. However, not only does Roomie look bad on applications because she only has one job she works at maybe 10 hours a week, she has her student loans to pay off and her credit sucks. And her family can't cosign because her parents had to declare bankruptcy last year. (At this point you may be wondering if I'm mad at Roomie for quitting her job but I can't because that place was bad to her and for her and she's much less of an angry person now that she's free of it)

Anyway, Roomie's been looking for a job and has been having some luck, but now we only have two weeks to find a new place, and that just ain't gonna happen. SO, new plan: we both still want to live in the city together, but to get out of our current place in time I have to start packing and getting things home this weekend. And next week I have to be in Wisconsin anyway for my friend's wedding. So, I've got today and the next two days to pack pretty much all of my stuff (which actually won't be hard because I really don't have a ton of stuff anyway) and at some point I'm going to have to drive by myself back to the city to get the rest of it - I've never driven that far or in this city before.

But that's all stuff that just needs to be dealt with. It will have to work out in the end...simply because it has to. What's worrying me is...I might get stuck there. Sure, Roomie and I want to come back to the city, we want to find a new place, but July might get here and it might just all fall apart. I don't want to get stuck in Wisconsin, or at least I know I shouldn't because I can't be a filmmaker in Wisconsin, not really. I move back to Wisconsin and that's the end of my life, really. That's me calling it quits. Okay, that's overly fatalistic and dramatic, but that's how it feels. Not to mention I've been in a bad fugue lately that's been making me feel really pessimistic and depressed about all this. Ugh. I'm just nervous that things will just spiral down and not work out the least bit the way I want them to.

Sorry, I feel whiny just writing this and I hate sounds like this. I know it's not over until I say it's over, I'm just worried that I'm going to call it over before I actually start trying. But yeah, that's the gist of what's going on. I'm heading back to Wisconsin at least for a bit and my future in Chicago is as yet undetermined. Everything's a bit up in the air right now. Haha, I guess what they say about making plans is true, Lord knows mine never work out.

(I know I should use other icons than just my default but I really love it and it's so apropos for my life right now.)

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